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If you live with chronic pain or an illness, odds are that you have attended a support group at least once since you were diagnosed. Did it feel something like this?

Despite feeling exhausted and in pain, you decided you would attend the group anyways. By the time you got there you were running late, couldn’t find the suite number, and finally just parked and hiked to an upstairs room in a dark wing of the hospital. You quietly found a seat, a hard, sticky seat. People smiled at you, but soon they got back to their discussion and it seemed no one was feeling encouraged by it. They argued over the side effects of medicine being worth the benefits, two people tried to convince you to buy a juicer from them, and soon you were ready to run screaming from the room. It’s too depressing!

Aren’t support groups supposed to be valuable in learning how to cope with illness and encourage one another?

Yes! David Spiegel, MD, has proven in his studies that support groups improve the quality of life for the participants. While recent studies have shown that the patient may not live longer due to the support groups themselves [See the Sept. issue of CANCER, the journal of the American Cancer Society,] there is no denying that having your feelings validated by those who understand will help you sleep better at night. So here are some icebreaker games for small groups to perk up the people!

Whether you are looking for leadership program ideas for your small group, or you’re just thinking about attending one, you may have cause for concern about how fast a group can go from being a friendly, honest place to a time of complaints and even bickering. Would you like some fresh icebreaker games for small groups to perk people up?

Whether you lead a support group or just participate, chances are you’ve noticed how slippery the slope is when people start talking about their illness. These ideas will work for any groups, from an Aspergers support group in Dallas to a bipolar support group in Birmingham. Alabama. And they are excellent to have when you are creating a proposal for starting up a support group. Here are 10 ways to make your illness support group get some giggles back between the trials.

1. Cut out some smiley faces and sad faces and glue them back-to-back to a stick or plastic knife. As you go around the circle sharing have each person make sure they are able to hold up both sides of the faces when they are talking about their illness. For example, Mary could hold up the sad face and say, “Preparing for a joint replacement and all the therapy involved afterwards is a bit scary.” (Then flip it over) “But the upside is my family and friends are already volunteering to come over and help me out around the house.”

2. Rethink your concept of what counts as indoor games for small groups. For example, have everyone bring things for a JOY box and then have everyone choose something to take with them out of it at each meeting. It could be a rubber frog, a favorite poem, a note someone sent, an encouraging book, a silly or sentimental DVD. Have everyone return them by the next meeting to share again.

3. Be goofy together with ice breakers for small groups. Make up a fun, corny theme song to start each meeting, or pick a tune everyone knows and make up new lyrics. Check out comedian Anita Renfroe’s website for some terrific examples that will leave you in stitches.

4. Bring some corny things to use during your meetings. Avoid making anyone feel pressured to use them. (If you force someone to wear a clown nose she may never come back) Have them available, however, and encourage goofiness before getting down to the real reasons you are there. Oriental Trading supply is the source of thousands of funny items guaranteed to spur a giggle.

5. Don’t let the group turn into a venting session for one member who insists dominating the conversation. There is often someone who insists on sharing details about diagnosis, treatments, complaints, family troubles etc. If you have someone who fits this description, implement a policy to set a timer. Make it fun by telling people they have 60 seconds to get anything off their chest and they can talk as fast as they want. Does someone want to share about a new alternative treatment? Give him/her a limited time like 1 -2 minutes and then invite people to ask for more details after the meeting.

6. Ask everyone to bring an encouraging item to include in a gift basket for someone in need who is either unable to attend the group or not even a member. Put your heads together about what kinds of items to include. You can find over five-hundred simple ideas in the book “Beyond Casseroles.” Remember personal notes mean a lot, even from people you don’t know, so ask people to write a sentence or two to include with the item.

7. Have a fun night out. You can act your age and go to a nice sit-down restaurant or head over to Chuck E. Cheese for some pin ball. It can definitely be a successful icebreaker for small groups because people who haven’t opened up much in the group may feel relieved to have this environment to get to know others.

8. Provide handouts or items that encourage people to thrive with illness. For example, National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week always has fun items like bumper stickers, static clings, stickers, pins, mugs, etc. with the different themes like, “My illness is invisible but my hope shines through!”

9. Listen to a recording of potential guest speakers before inviting them to speak if possible. Some can be quite depressing. Let guest speakers know that you’d like their presentation to be on the positive side despite the topic of illness. Tell them they are welcome to tell a joke, pass out props, or whatever will keep people listening and also encouraged.

10. Focus on things that your group can actually do that will change things, since they may feel so unable to control their illness. If you can’t physically participate in the local walk for charity, could you work at a table handing out snacks or doing registration? Find events your group can participate in to feel like they are doing more than just complaining about their predicament. Take advantage of the energy that teens with chronic illness often have to motivate support groups to get involved in outside projects.

Support groups can provide some of the most influential relationships that can help one live successfully with chronic illness. The environment of the group, however, can make or break its usefulness. With these few simple tips, your group can be a refuge and a place of true relaxation, creating an special group for people to create friendships that could just last as long as the illness, perhaps indefinitely.